Question 1

What Is the Hardest Stage of Grief?

Accepted Answer

Everyone handles grief in their own unique way. However, there are some general guidelines about the stages of grief that may be helpful to keep in mind when dealing with grief—particularly for those in a time of bereavement.

You may be wondering, for instance, how long does grief last?

A common theory is that there are five stages of grief, and some believe acceptance is the hardest stage.

Acceptance often occurs later in the grieving process, so it's considered the hardest stage of grief simply because it requires fully accepting a loved one is gone.

Accepting the loss is about realizing that life will never be the same without your loved one, but you can still grow, move on, and enjoy the life you have.

The grieving process may be filled with guilt, anger, denial, and blame, and many people get stuck at some point along the way.

The five stages of grief

The five stages of grief, introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969, traces an individual's emotional evolution throughout the mourning process and categorizes emotions into the following stages:

denial
anger
bargaining
depression
acceptance

Think you may be depressed? Take this quick online depression assessment.

While the five-stage model was originally created for terminally ill patients or relatives of patients, it can be used in any situation where a person experiences significant loss.

This is just one of many theories on how people grieve.

Another example comes from Colin Murray Parkes, in his book Bereavement.

Parkes introduced the following four emotional stages of the grief process:

Numbness: emotions have become frozen.
Pining: a strong desire to reclaim something that has been lost.
Depression: obsessing about the loss.
Recovery: the creation of a new identity.

The stages of grief are a process that is different for everyone.

One stage may last longer or shorter than the others, and the order can differ too. It's also worth noting that not everyone who goes through the grieving process goes through all five stages.

When to get help

Some people need additional support to overcome the aftermath of grief and loss. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or a sign that you're losing control.

If you experience any of the following issues for more than five weeks, you should see a mental health professional:

You feel numb or empty and don't know how to cope with your feelings
You don't have many friends or relatives that you can talk to
You are self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling.

How to find a therapist to help with grief

The Monarch Directory by SimplePractice can help you find the right therapist for your needs.

Concerned you might be depressed?

Take our online depression assessment to determine whether you may be experiencing the symptoms of depression.

If you are feeling depressed, we recommend you reach out speak with someone—a trusted family member, friend, doctor, or therapist—about how you're feeling. Here are counselors near you who specialize in helping clients with depression you may wish to contact for a phone consultation or appointment.

Question 2

What Is the Best Way to Deal With Grief?

Accepted Answer

Here are some guidelines on grief and how long the grieving process typically lasts.

The most important thing you can do is remember to care for yourself. Treat yourself as you would a good friend who is going through a difficult time.

Get plenty of rest, eat healthy, and find productive ways to deal with any stress or any negative feelings you're experiencing. Give yourself the time you need.

Rather than trying to resume your normal activities as soon as possible, take some time to reflect on what you're truly feeling.

If you suppress your grief and try to bury it, it may come back later or affect you in ways that you don't realize, leading to depression, anxiety, or other issues down the road.

Find therapists and grief counselors who accept your insurance

If you feel overwhelmed or debilitated by your loss, it can help to speak with a mental health professional, or to join a support group where you can interact with people who have been through a loss as well.

The Monarch Directory makes it easy for you to browse hundreds of licensed counselors and therapists who specialize in grief and view on their individual profiles whether they accept your health insurance.

You can also choose to search therapists on Monarch specifically by your insurance provider.

Concerned you might be depressed?

Take our online depression assessment to determine whether you may be experiencing the symptoms of depression.

If you are feeling depressed, we recommend you reach out speak with someone—a trusted family member, friend, doctor, or therapist—about how you're feeling. Here are counselors near you who specialize in helping clients with depression you may wish to contact for a phone consultation or appointment.

Question 3

What Does Grief Do to Your Body?

Accepted Answer

Grief can have a detrimental impact on your body and physical health. Here are some guidelines on grief and how long the grieving process typically lasts.

Those who are grieving often feel a great amount of stress and anxiety.

They may have trouble relaxing or sleeping, which can lead to fatigue or insomnia.

Grief can even actually cause a to person feel physical aches and pains.

Usually, these issues are only temporary, but over time, the stress that can come along with grief can cause more serious issues like heart problems, a lowered immune system, and digestive issues.

People may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with the physical and emotional pain, and they sometimes turn to drugs, alcohol, or other potentially addictive behaviors.

Find therapists and grief counselors who accept your insurance

If you feel overwhelmed or debilitated by your loss, it can help to speak with a mental health professional, or to join a support group where you can interact with people who have been through a loss as well.

The Monarch Directory makes it easy for you to browse hundreds of licensed counselors and therapists who specialize in grief and view on their individual profiles whether they accept your health insurance.

You can also choose to search therapists on Monarch specifically by your insurance provider.

Concerned you might be depressed?

Take our online depression assessment to determine whether you may be experiencing the symptoms of depression.

If you are feeling depressed, we recommend you reach out speak with someone—a trusted family member, friend, doctor, or therapist—about how you're feeling. Here are counselors near you who specialize in helping clients with depression you may wish to contact for a phone consultation or appointment.

Question 4

How Long Does Mourning Last?

Accepted Answer

Mourning the loss of a loved one is personal and unique. Some people may begin to feel more normal in a matter of weeks, while for others the mourning and grieving process can take months or even years.

Bereavement, after the death of a relative, friend, or loved one—including a beloved pet—is a condition of loss that brings on grief and mourning.

In addition to the passing of a loved one, grief and mourning can also be caused by other events, such as the end of a job or relationship.

These types of endings and losses, such as layoffs or divorces, can also provoke feelings of grieving and mourning.

Grief follows loss. It’s the emotional experience of processing the loss.

Mourning, on the other hand, is the outward expression of your feelings of grief, such as wearing black clothing.

Realize that life will never go back to exactly how it was before your loss, and you will likely continue to miss your loved one for a long time.

Sometimes, if a person is unable to move past the mourning period, they may be diagnosed with complicated grief.

Their feelings may be so painful that they are unable to focus on anything except the loss they experienced.

Complicated grief may occur in up to 7% of the population, and can be treated by a psychologist.

Find therapists and grief counselors who accept your insurance

The Monarch Directory makes it easy for you to browse hundreds of licensed counselors and therapists who specialize in grief and view on their individual profiles whether they accept your health insurance.

You can also choose to search therapists on Monarch specifically by your insurance provider.

Concerned you might be depressed?

Take our online depression assessment to determine whether you may be experiencing the symptoms of depression.

If you are feeling depressed, we recommend you reach out speak with someone—a trusted family member, friend, doctor, or therapist—about how you're feeling. Here are counselors near you who specialize in helping clients with depression you may wish to contact for a phone consultation or appointment.

Question 5

How Do You Accept the Loss of a Loved One?

Accepted Answer

Accepting the loss of a loved one can be difficult and even earth-shattering. The grieving process is deeply personal, and acceptance is the final phase in the five stages of grief.

Here are some guidelines on how long experts say the grief process should take.

It's important to realize that you may be feeling a wide variety of emotions—including anger, fear, sadness, or even numbness.

All of this is normal.

Understand that the grieving process will look different for everyone, and what you're feeling is never wrong or bad.

To begin to heal and move on toward acceptance, focus on remembering the positive memories you had with your loved one, and think of ways to celebrate their life and keep their memory alive.

Find therapists and grief counselors who accept your insurance

If you feel overwhelmed or debilitated by your loss, it can help to speak with a mental health professional, or to join a support group where you can interact with people who have been through a loss as well.

The Monarch Directory makes it easy for you to browse hundreds of licensed counselors and therapists who specialize in grief and view on their individual profiles whether they accept your health insurance.

You can also choose to browse therapists on Monarch specifically by your insurance provider.

Concerned you might be depressed?

Take our online depression assessment to determine whether you may be experiencing the symptoms of depression.

If you are feeling depressed, we recommend you speak with someone—a trusted family member, friend, doctor, or therapist—about how you're feeling. Here are counselors near you who specialize in helping clients with depression you may wish to contact for a phone consultation or appointment.

What Is the Hardest Stage of Grief?

The five stages of grief

When to get help

How to find a therapist to help with grief

Concerned you might be depressed?

Related questions about grief

Life is complicated. Finding a therapist shouldn’t be.

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