Question 1

What does insecure attachment look like?

Accepted Answer

Some of the signs of insecure attachment are a strong desire for intimacy but an inability to form close emotional bonds because of fear. People with insecure attachment usually are afraid of depending on others for anything or are fearful of being abandoned or unloved if they let themselves be vulnerable.

They may have feelings of anxiety or depression in regard to their relationships, and may ultimately come across as desperate, clingy, cold, or emotionally unavailable. This can lead to struggles in personal relationships, but ultimately, insecure attachment problems can be healed by recognizing bad behavior and poor coping skills and working to change them.

Both individual therapy and couples therapy can be beneficial for people with insecure attachment.

Do you know your attachment style?

Take this free, online Attachment Styles Quiz today to find out your attachment style. Get a free, customized report too! Knowing your attachment style is the first step to understanding why you act the way you do.

Need to find a therapist near you? Check out the Monarch Directory by SimplePractice to find licensed mental health therapists with availability and online booking.

Question 2

What Are the 4 Attachment Styles?

Accepted Answer

In attachment theory, there are four attachment styles. Attachment theory was originally created by British psychiatrist Dr. John Bowlby, M.D. in the 1950s and 1960s. Understanding your attachment style can help you better understand yourself and help you to have healthy, positive relationships.

Attachment issues stem from childhood and are based on our relationships with caregivers and parents.

Today the 4 attachment styles are

1. Secure

People with a secure attachment style are confident in their relationships and have good self-esteem. They can function independently while giving and getting support from their partner when needed. Learn more about what it means to have a secure attachment style.

2. Avoidant (also referred to as dismissive)

Those with an avoidant attachment style are often highly independent and don't want to rely on others for emotional fulfillment, so they tend to avoid avoid emotional closeness. Learn more about what it means to have an avoidant attachment style.

3. Anxious (also referred to as preoccupied).

Those of us with an anxious attachment style are often overwhelmed with anxiety at the thought of our partners leaving us. They need constant reassurance from their partner that they won't be abandoned, and can be described as clingy. Learn more about what it means to have an anxious attachment style.

4. Disorganized (also referred to as fearful-avoidant)

People with disorganized attachment style may crave intimacy but also fear it, because they fear they may get hurt. These individuals may have trouble regulating their emotions as a result of neglect or abuse. This is the least common attachment style. Learn more about what it means to have a disorganized or fearful-avoidant attachment style.

How to get help with attachment styles and relationship issues

If you’re having a challenging time with your attachment style or other relationship issues, consider talking with a licensed therapist who specializes in avoidant personality disorder and/or therapists with expertise in attachment-based issues.

Find out your attachment style

Take our 3-Minute Attachment Style Test to find out your personal attachment style, and you'll get a free customized report.

Knowing your attachment style is helpful to developing a better understanding of your interactions and behavior in relationships. Results are completely confidential.

What does insecure attachment look like?

Do you know your attachment style?

Related questions about attachment issues

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