Lawrence Backilman

I have over twenty years of experience as a psychotherapist. My earliest work was with combat veterans in a residential PTSD recovery program at the Northport, NY VA Medical Center. After retirement from the VA I started my private practice. If there is a key to my effectiveness, it is that I experience my patients' growing emotional intelligence as part of a mutual process. Some helpful pointers for finding your "perfect" therapist are: Someone who is really good at listening and reflecting back to you the deepest meaning of what you're sharing. That assumes a trusting relationship with someone who is both empathic and capable of holding you in non-judgmental positive regard. With some practice you will begin to see yourself in this positive light as well. Here are just two of my favorite therapeutic tools for accomplishing this work with individuals: Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) and Mindfulness Breathing Stress Reduction (MBSR) for helping you to reconnect with your deeper self. Guided reconnection with forgotten negative feelings awakens self-compassion for your wounded inner child and frees your adult self from the reactivity of a negative past. After only a few EFT sessions you could be on your way toward an increased capacity for Present Moment Awareness, otherwise called Joy. Best of all, this exercise is yours to practice on your own for the rest of your life. My approach to couples therapy is through Relational Living Therapy (RLT). This is a relational reimagining of the unequal arrogation of power inherent in the myth of patriarchal culture. The RLT first session is designed to raise a couple's awareness of the repetitive, anti-relational, and negative pattern of communication they may be caught up in. After that awakening they can go on to nurture each other with the relational communications skills they learned in therapy. When successful, it provides a couple with a resilient foundation of "we" to build their intimacy upon.