Jessica A. Engle

Welcome, welcome!! I'm Jessica Anne Engle, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (81850), dating coach, couples counselor, Registered Drama Therapist, and the founder and CEO of the Relationship Center. I work with introverts, trauma survivors, and highly sensitive people who struggle with feeling insecure in their relationships. My goal is to help you overcome anxiety and heal trauma so that you can finally have the deep connections you crave. As a coach and therapist, there's nothing I love more than helping others build satisfying relationships. This includes: - Helping shy introverts feel confident so that they can express themselves authentically in social situations (and actually enjoy themselves). - Showing chronically single introverts how to bring more play and delight to the dating process so that they can finally find their person. - Supporting married couples to replace frequent arguments with loving-kindness, especially during stressful transitions (lookinatchou, parents of young children and anyone trying to buy a house in the Bay Area). - Helping adult children (i.e. people who grew up in dysfunctional families) develop secure attachment so that they can finally enjoy reciprocal, healthy relationships. My journey to becoming a Tender of Sensitive Souls I first heard the call to become a healer when I was 16 years old and my loving-yet-painfully-dysfunctional family sought counseling. Sitting on an overstuffed chair next to my siblings and parents, I was surprised to find that rather than feeling awkward and forced, therapy felt familiar. As I observed our therapist, I thought to myself "I could do what that nice woman is doing." Not in a sarcastic, adolescent way, mind you, but in a “for some reason, I get this” kind of way. My teenage reaction to that experience, was, of course, to resolve *not* to become a therapist. That would be too predictable, too “on the nose.” Ah, sweet adolescent me. Fast forward to when I was a 21-year-old, newly-minted college grad with a (very practical) B.A. in Architectural History. Through various self-development practices, including and especially a daily meditation practice, I realized that pursuing a career in architecture wouldn't, as I'd previously hoped, bring me joy. I wanted to more directly help fellow humans. The more I sat and listened to my inner world, the more I realized that I could no longer ignore the call I'd heard as a teenager. Becoming a therapist is easily one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. As an introvert, highly-sensitive person, trauma survivor (dare I say thriver?!), hopeful romantic, and intimacy geek, I know first-hand what it takes to create authentic, healthy relationships. I go to therapy religiously, consume books and podcasts about mental health voraciously, meditate imperfectly, and build deep and deeply messy relationships like my livelihood depends on it. In case you’re still wondering whether I’m human like you, here are some fun facts: My 12-year-old cat, Neshika (which means "Kiss" in Hebrew), meows like a tiny dragon, so that’s her nickname. You may see her cat-dragon tail make an appearance during our video sessions 😻 When I'm out and about, I tend to attract lost tourists in need of directions. My loved ones tell me it's because I have a kind, calm demeanor; I like to joke that it’s because I'm 5'10 (5'11 on a good day) and wear glasses, so people think I can see long distances 🤓 I recently bought roller skates! Since I’m an elder millennial, they are (of course) early-90’s teal with bubblegum pink laces and light-up wheels 🛼 My inner 8-year-old is convinced that I am the coolest adult ever 😂 My why: a kinder, more loving world I want nothing more than to fill the world with more playful, real, deeply meaningful, healthy relationships. I've always been mildly obsessed with love, intimacy, what makes people tick, and finding the seemingly-impossible path through trauma towards living an unapologetically authentic, joyful life. I’m here to help trauma survivors develop secure attachment. If you're not an attachment theory nerd like me, that's fancy therapist-speak for "I want to help people feel confident and joyful in their relationships." I do my best to walk my talk outside of my work with clients, too. At my 80th birthday, I hope people say that I love with an unguarded heart. What I most love about being a therapist are the moments where my clients feel unconditionally accepted in all their rough rawness, sometimes for the first time in their lives. Those a-ha moments where they stumble upon the undeniable fact of their lovability and the fierce courage of their sensitivity. My unique gifts: presence, empathy, and integrity People often say I have a calming, inviting presence, one that makes them feel deeply safe and seen. My intuition, compassion, and sensitivity enable me to guide my clients to new perspectives and ever-deepening levels of healing. I see therapy as a relationship laboratory, one where my clients get to run experiments, make messes, and have corrective emotional experiences. I am an improviser by nature and delight in designing sessions on a moment-by-moment basis to meet my clients wherever they are. That might mean helping them express difficult emotions through drama therapy, find calm using polyvagal-informed practices, or clarifying concrete steps towards their goals by simply talking. I've been told that I have an uncanny capacity to attune to others and perceive things that have remained in the shadows for a lifetime. My memory and pattern recognition are exceptional; that combined with my puzzle-loving brain and passion for helping makes me unusually good at understanding and guiding my clients. I am constantly seeking out resources that will support my clients, including podcasts, books, worksheets, and skilled providers. I'm glad to be with you, whether you're crying or laughing Our sessions will provide you a safe space, validation, and actionable steps forward. In feeling wholly supported, you'll gain the clarity and confidence needed to build close, meaningful relationships. There isn't a "one size fits all" approach to therapy; as such, our sessions will fit your specific needs and concerns. I’m Ready As a therapist, I embrace the following philosophies I believe that: You are worthy of love Asians belong Black and brown lives matter We can do hard things Asking for help is brave There's a lid for every pot Immigrants make America great Highly-sensitive people rule My professional background I obtained my M.A. in Counseling Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. My emphasis: drama therapy, i.e. using theater and the dramatic arts to help humans grow. During grad school, I established Bay Area Dating Coach. My studies inspired me to use improv, role-play, and other dramatherapeutic approaches to help shy singles build dating skills and confidence. While working as a dating coach, I obtained the 3000+ hours of experience required to become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist by offering action-oriented therapy to singles, socially anxious professionals, and couples. After earning my MFT license in 2014, I was inspired to help on a wider scale. I established the Relationship Center (previously the Engle Center), a collective of creative, kind, intimacy-obsessed clinicians who are driven to help others. In addition to helping couples, we serve shy introverts and singles who are looking for love at our specialty clinics, the Social Anxiety Support Center and Bay Area Dating Coach. I am incredibly lucky to have a team of enthusiastic, wicked-smart clinicians to join me on my mission of helping shy folk and trauma survivors build joyful, authentic relationships. My brain is happy when it’s learning new things about mental health, intimacy, how to heal, and the body's role in feeling whole. As such, I'm regularly consuming books, podcasts, trainings, etc. about all the things, including: Attachment theory The intersection of social justice and therapy Relational neuroscience (I'm lookinatchou, polyvagal theory and interpersonal neurobiology 😍) Trauma Dating The science of happy relationships Mindfulness, especially self-compassion Sexuality How to live well as an empath, introvert, and/or highly-sensitive person Services I provide Online therapy Dating coaching and dating therapy Online dating help Social anxiety therapy Couples therapy Group therapy Testimonials I saw Jessica Engle for weekly sessions from 2016-2018. She's helped me be open with my thoughts/feelings/emotions with both men and women, and its brought down my anxiety over all because I feel like I can be my authentic self in most situations. Thank you Jessica for your lasting impact! ~Andrew I affectionately refer to Ms. Engle as "Dr. Jessica" because (a) I think it's cute and (b) I feel like she doctored my brain when it comes to social anxiety. I started seeing Dr. Jessica in the beginning of 2016. I had been paralyzed by anxiety and had been living like a hermit for months. I was desperately lonely, but too afraid of people to actually put myself out there and engage with the world. Knowing that something was wrong, I attended one of the Bay Area Dating Coach workshops. That in turn inspired me to sign up for a private session with Dr. Jessica. It was honestly rough at first - my physical symptoms of anxiety made me feel sick to my stomach - but Dr. Jessica always helped me feel comfortable. She seemed to have an intuitive ability to sense when we needed to do breathing exercises or a guided meditation. Because of her professional nature, I felt comfortable: I more or less knew what to expect and knew that I was in control - if I didn't want to do something, I didn't have to. Working with her for almost a year, I gained priceless insights, soothed and processed so many childhood wounds, and learned how to care for myself in a loving, kind way. I'm able to meet new people, go to social events, and date without feeling horrible during or afterwards. I feel like a new person, and many of my coworkers and friends have noticed the difference. I'm so lucky to have found Dr. Jessica. I had been to other therapists in the past, but she helped me like no one else because of her empathic, kind, gentle, and insightful nature. I'm forever grateful for her help and absolutely recommend her to others struggling with social anxiety. ~Jennie My experience with Jessica Engle was rewarding, provocative, and fun. She is insightful, compassionate, funny, and definitely in the right line of work! I did fulfill my dream of being in a loving, committed relationship while working with her, and the work I did with her certainly helped bring about that result. I would recommend her to anyone interested in gaining insight into dating and relationships. (Or anything else, actually.) She's good. ~Danny Let’s discover how I can help I get that entrusting your vulnerabilities to a total stranger can be deeply scary, particularly if you’ve experienced difficult relationships in the past. For that reason, I am touched that you've even read this far. I look forward to meeting you, Courageous Human! Reach out and let us know that I could be your best fit therapist. When you reach out, you'll talk to our Care Coordinator. During your 30-minute call, you can share what’s going on for you, ask any questions you may have, and get scheduled for your first session with me. Fill out the free 30-minute consultation application today to get started: www.relationshipcenter.com/apply-now. I'm here for you!